10 Tips to Overcome Shyness Instantly

The importance of eye contact

In no particular order.

1. Seek out and learn from good conversationalists.

See that guy over there yakking it up? People like talking with him. Go over and find out why. Take note of the subjects he speaks about, and how he words things. What makes his conversation tick?

2. Notice how others react to you.

Do they look bored when you bring up certain subjects? Do their eyes light up when you do something in particular? Do they look creeped out when you do something else?
A good rule of thumb to follow when first meeting somebody is to not bore the hell out of them, or scare them away with your morbid fascinations or creepy hobbies. Topics like death and dismemberment usually aren’t good openers, unless you’re at a party for pathologists or black metal fans. Other topics to avoid might be family problems, health problems, unemployment rates, terrorism, abortion, sexual escapades or your thoughts on organized religion and left wing politics. Don’t get me wrong, talk about whatever you want, but opening with any of the above will pretty much guarantee either a short conversation or a fist fight.

3. Learn how to accept a compliment.

Don’t be embarrassed, be appreciative. Its not everyday somebody has something nice to say.

4. Learn how to give a compliment.

Acknowledge something positive and make them feel good about themselves, and about speaking to you. If they’ve finished with some great, or even not so great achievement, congratulate them. Nice shirt? That’s worth a compliment. Gigantic cold sore? Possibly not a great thing to discuss.

5. Be interested.

Focus on the other person more than yourself. While somebody is talking don’t think about what you’re going to say next. Listen to them, and acknowledge it. There’s nothing worse than finishing a thought when the person you’re speaking to responds with, ‘Hmmm. Well anyways, more about me. Blah blah blah.’

Continue to part two for the next five steps